It Was Me

A common answer to "Who did it?" is "It wasn't me." But was it?

If you tend to be talkative, outgoing, or powerful, have you ever demanded others to do wrong? "Hey, Joe, go trip that kid."  Or have you ever provoked someone?  "Go ahead, just try and hit me."   Have you ever participated in wrong? "Ya, let's skip school." Or have you defended something that is wrong, as if it is right?

If you tend to be quiet, introverted, or influential, have you advised someone to do wrong? "Just tell your dad you're going with me." Have you ever gone along with others because you couldn't say no?  Have you praised someone doing wrong. "You're so cool."  Have you hidden the wrong of others when it involved big harm or big damage?

It is easy to be, intentionally or not, an accessory to another's wrong.  You may not have done the wrong, technically, but in a way, "It was me."

Love,
Mom

Tell and Not Tell

I hate tattling.  When you and your siblings were little, I helped you to not tattle by teaching a few rules that apply to young (and old) adults, too.

1.  Big harm.  If your 4 year old brother is about to jump off the patio roof expecting to fly in his Spiderman pajamas - TELL (an adult) because he could get badly hurt.

2.  Big damage.  If your 6 year old brother is lighting a plastic cup on fire in the garage - TELL (an adult) because fire spreads quickly and could burn down the house.

3.  Concerned.  If there is no immediate harm or damage but you are concerned - TELL the person involved.  "I'm concerned about you.  This could really hurt you or someone else, or cause costly damage.  Please stop and go tell (an adult who can help.)  Or I will."

4.  Trying to get someone in trouble.  If there is no immediate or pending big harm or damage - DON'T TELL because that is tattling, trying to make yourself look good or build yourself up at another's expense.

Drunk driving? TELL (someone who can help) because there is a big risk of physical injury and death to self and other as well as costly damage and legal consequences.  Teammate is late for practice?  DON'T TELL (unless coach asks) because there is no immediate concern.

I love your efforts to tell and not tell, well.

Love,
Mom  

Virtues and Values

Virtues are qualities within a person that can grow and produce good behaviors. When you grow in generosity it shows in your increased giving to others. Values are things to which we give high worth that is relative and changeable.  When you were young, you valued your bike and now you value your car, and perhaps the freedom connected to both.  When I was young my neighborhood valued church picnics and now my neighborhood values privacy, perhaps a reflection of diminishing unity.

I prioritize growing in virtue over giving value.  Our Catholic faith helps us by defining virtues, teaching priorities, and showing them impervious to personal and cultural mood swings.  The highest virtues are faith, hope, and charity as love, called the Theological Virtues.  Prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude are Cardinal Virtues.  The Seven Heavenly Virtues are humility, generosity, chastity, meekness, temperance, brotherly love, and diligence.
  
The mass media "Pass It On" spots from values.com currently highlights 83 "values" to include: appreciation, believe, caring, character, common ground, compassion, compliments, courtesy, do your part, encouragement, friendship, generosity, good manners, gratitude, hard work, helping others, honesty, hope, including others, inspiration, integrity, live life, live your dreams, love, making a difference, opportunity, optimism, patience, reaching out, right choices, sharing, sportsmanship, spread your wings, teaching by example, true beauty.  While each has worth, the swelling list and blurring of virtues and values doesn't help anyone to prioritize and live out what is most important.

So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Love,
Mom